SEVEN SECRETS OF FORGIVENESS

1. Forgiveness is for yourself. Unforgiveness makes us sick. When we attack someone back, even just in our minds, the stress hormone cortisol is released. This is the "fight or flight" response, which works great in emergencies, but over the long term leads to heart attacks, strokes, heart disease, immune disorders, ulcers and colitis.

2. We don't have to fear that forgiveness gives permission for continued abuse. When we forgive someone, we're not saying what he did was ok or that we are allowing it to happen again. In fact, we're actually setting ourselves free from the fear that it will happen again, because the love that we are comes out, and we feel naturally safe.

3. Don't try to do this by yourself. Forgiveness is done by our higher self, the presence of the Holy Spirit within us. We have to call on this part of us to take over, because the nature of our ego selves is bitterness itself.

4. Give yourself time. Initially it can be very hard to forgive, so don't feel guilty about this. Hold the intention to forgive and pray for your heart to be softened.

5. "There is no order of difficulty in miracles," according to A Course in Miracles. This means that the Holy Spirit, your own loving nature, can forgive seemingly "unforgivable" acts just as easily as "minor" ones. When you affirm this, your process will go faster.

6. Forgiveness is the main tool we use to return to God. When we forgive all grievances, the love that is inside of us starts naturally emerging. We start to feel one with all people, which allows us to feel our oneness with God.

7. We need to forgive everything that bothers us. Yes, even minor irritations need to be forgiven. This is because this world of difficulty is an illusion, and when we're upset about anything, we're making this world real. When we're caught in this world, we're not able to see the true world of God's love.